Tuesday, October 25, 2005

My Name is I AM

I came across this piece today. It struck a chord - i hope it does the same to you.

My Name is I AM
I was regretting the past
and fearing the future.
Suddenly my Lord was speaking:

“My name is I AM.”

He paused. I waited. He continued,

“When you live in the past,
with its mistakes and regrets,
it is hard. My name is not I WAS.”

“When you live in the future,
with its problems and fears,
it is hard. My name is not I WILL BE.”

“When you live in this moment,
it is not hard. I am here.
My name is I AM.”

Helen Mallicoat, Maybe it’s time to LAUGH AGAIN

Friday, June 03, 2005

time stamp

it's june 03, and there's that sudden "down" attack again, which has become more frequent as of late.

it's been a while since i last made an entry. i needed the time to figure out a lot of things that's been bothering me for months and keeping me a bit out of touch with the universe. ok, not that grand a scale, but can be approximated to the space between my ears.

they still do.

i didn't know pain of this nature could be so crippling. i'm not one who wears his heart up his sleeves, and i'm tempted to do it just this once... if ever i do, i'd cut off my sleeves, and i'll be free!! if only it were that simple hehehe

but the thought that this too shall pass has been like a flicker of light in a cold, dark night.

this is great. a few words and the breeze of despair's backed down a bit.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005


i lost my wallet last night.

i walked home, from sm city cebu to my place in mabolo, about a kilometer away, hoping that maybe along the way (though winning the lottery without buying a lotto ticket is more probable) , i could step on it, or it would miraculously materialize in my pocket. i know this is bullshi*... the truth is, i didn't have spare bucks left to pay for my jeepney fare :(

i'd like to think that my wallet, after years of loyal service, willed its way out of my pocket, to finally realize its 5-year struggle for freedom. and in the process, unwittingly took along with it my cards and cash. or, someone with quick reflex and excellent thumb and finger coordination managed to dip in my back pocket. somehow, it is comforting to delude myself that the former is the more logical reason ;p. hey, i still have faith in people! and i am still in denial @#!!!.

Monday, March 28, 2005

Down Under

e-ticket - check. passport - check. laptop, perfume, a week's worth of clothes - check. jacket (it's supposedto be autumn there) - check. digicam - c.h..e... what the f*ck?! here i was, on the eve of finally, finally visiting a place I've always wanted to see and and my goddamn digicam's nowhere in sight! after realizing that murphy's gotten away with his antics yet again, and that i only have a couple of hours to catch my Zzs, i forced myself to take a much needed rest to prepare for my 12-hour flight to australia - you read it right, AUSTRALIA!!

cathay pacific's hk flight left mactan airport at 12:45 and landed at hk airport 2 hours and 40 minutes later. my flight to sydney doesn't leave until 7:10pm so i spent the spare time looking for the closest thing to a digicam i could find. i settled for 2 kodak one-time-use film cameras. 30 minutes before boarding time, i made my way to gate 68 to await the final boarding announcements, and make me that much closer to seeing the land of kangaroos and koalas.

march 20, morning, minutes before touchdown at sydney airport: i could not help but be captivated by the view that greeted me - an early morning sun lazily casting its rays over sydney's overcast skies...glimpses of rolling waves crushing against the cliffs that dot sydneys's rugged coastline... a mosaic of houses, buildings, streets and trees welcoming the dawn of a new day. sydney beckons!

the plane touched down at 7:15am (australia is 3 hours ahead of philippines/hk time), and everyone proceeded to the customs and immigration. the whole inspection process took just minutes thanks to the lady officer who's definitely a filipina at one point in her life. i claimed my baggage, then went to the domestic transfer desk because sydney is just the gateway to my final destinatinon. i checked in at qantas (kwan-tas) and confirmed my flight to gold coast in queensland.

after waiting for 4 hours, i finally boarded the plane that would take me to my destination, and more importantly, join the company of my two american managers who took a different flight but will be making the business meetings with me. i was not given a window seat this time around, but i heard that the view was spectacular! well, you can't have the best of everything everytime, can you?

the flight from sydney to gold coast took 1 hour and 20 minutes (g c time is behind by 1 hour from that of sydney, 2 hours ahead of phil. time), and i got all my things and ready to go by 11:45am, but I waited for another hour before finally being reunited with my american managers.

gold coast was just spectacular! we stayed at crowne plaza hotel in surfer's paradise, and i couldn't think of any other place so aptly named - golden coastline, the bluest beaches, waves that are every surfer's dream, and did i say australians are just too damn sexy in their swimwear?! i'll say that again. australians are just too damn sexy in their swimwear!!

we spent the next two days in meetings, but we still found time to walk down the beach, feel the powdery sand, breathe the pacific breeze, and watch surfers do their thing, and try some of the local restaurants. if you happen to visit gold coast, never leave without sampling al fresco's (italian restaurant) pasta dishes and tiramisu. they are to die for!

i woke up at 3:30am on March 23 to catch the early morning qantas flight to sydney. after reluctantly saying goodbye to this paradise i've come to love, i boarded the plane that took off from gold coast airport at 6:05 am. the flight was one of the bumpier rides i've ever had, and it's a good thing i learned until much later that the cause was a storm front that's lashing sydney area.

we arrived at sydney airport at 8:30 am, and my cathay pacific flight to hk doesn't leave until 10:20pm. With at least 12 hours to spare, I was really looking forward to spending the time visiting the sites of sydney, but of all days, why did the weather have take a turn for the worse that same day? pelting rain and howling wind will not stop me. throwing caution to the wind (pun intended), i bought a au$11.00 train ticket to circular quay, the stop that will take me to my next destination.

the pyramids of egypt. the great wall of china, eiffel tower. statue of liberty. mt. fuji. these are landmarks known worldwide. i'm on my way to visit another that belongs to this list: sydney opera house!

after an uneventful 20-minute ride (japan's train are way much better), and a 200-meter walk under heavy rain and howling wind sans rain gear, i stood in front of the opera house. the experience of finally being there - seeing it in all its splendor and taking it all in was just surreal - where every arc and curve is a testament to a country's culture and every walkway and hallway is a witness to the parade of people who've come to pay homage to a landmark that has defined a continent. it is definitely an experience i will cherish for a long, long time.

with the storm showing no sign of a letdown, i decided to return to the airport and wait for my hk flight there. on my way back to circular quay, i noticed people making the climb up harbour bay bridge. had the weather been better, i would have been one of those guys. i made a promise to do it the next time i visit sydney ;D

after one of the longest waits of my life, it was time to board the hk flight. from there, i took a connecting flight that took me to cebu. i finally arrived at mactan airport on thursday, march 24 at 11:45am.

Wednesday, December 15, 2004


i will leave for pangasinan tomorrow for the christmas holidays. i'm happy that i'll be seeing my family and friends again.

but you will always be on my mind... and i will be counting the days 'til i see you again.

have a safe trip to bacolod, and happy holidays!

Thursday, December 09, 2004

random reflection

a lot of things happened this year.

being out of work for a long time was a humbling experience. it gave me time to reflect on a lot of things - from the eccentric and mundane to the humanizing and spiritual...

i've come to discover that there's a greater power that is unbending to my whims. that in this boat ride called life, it is sometimes prudent and wise to loosen up your grip at the helm when faced with a storm... to realize that i may be the captain of my ship, but i am at the mercy of an unforgiving sea. it is family - always the family, and friends that will guide and help you steer to calmer tides.

it is ok to laugh at your own mistakes, to find humor in the oddest of circumstances. it takes far greater courage to accept one's shortcomings, it is never too late to offer an apology. to forgive and forget is definitely easier said than done.

the greatest happiness comes not from arriving at the port of your journey toughened by the lessons of the sea, but knowing that no matter where your journey next leads you - be it in calm, azure horizons or turbulent seas, your loved ones will always be there.

2005 is already looking bright!

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

delightfully tack, yet unrefined

we were given bullcaps with the UK (University of Kentucky) logo by our sponsoring manager as farewell gifts before leaving for the Philippines. 3 of us guys had to stifle a laugh though after our manager handed over our caps (so as not to appear as ingrates!), because the cap brought back some fun memories...

a couple of weeks earlier, the 3 of us (me, Guds, Chad) visited hOOters. it was a cold autumn night, and we were hungry for food, and more. we figured that we could just drop by the hotel cafeteria, grab a meal and stuff our stomachs.. but what about the hunger of a different kind? ;) we decided altogether to forego the hotel's complimentary dinner, got in our van and drove like mad to the restaurant famous for its great food and service -- yeah right :D we got there, parked, got in. what greeted us totally caught me off guard (a major major paradigm shift if you will).

i expected the place to be a seedy, decrepit-looking shack which is located in a dark alley, to better hide its throng of hot-blooded males who are out for fun and booze, and probably even some more, and blond, all-american women in differing states of undress :D :D. i couldn't have been more wrong: the place was well-lit, organized and very clean - family-oriented is a description that totally fits the bill (our kind of place!). after getting over our initial shock, we willingly allowed ourselves to be seated by a group of hooters babes (i was right about the blond, american women part though!). our attendant was a black-american college student. she got our orders and after a short wait, came back with our drinks, burgers, fries and chicken wings. after making sure that all our orders were accounted for and properly set in our table, she took one chair and sat with us.

ms. hooters: "how's the food?"
us(trying to look at her face, not somewhere down south :D): "just great!"
ms. hooters: "where do u guys work?"
me (taking a sip off my iced tea): "Lexmark"
ms. hooters (directing her gaze to our Chinese friend, guds): "are you from UK?!"
chad (taking a big chicken-wings-bite): "no, we're from the philippines!"
ms. hooters (a confused look, recovered, got on with the flow): "so you guys are from the philippines, how long have u been here?..." (more chit chat) new customers arrived, and ms. hooters went out to greet them.
me/guds: "chad, gago, suave ah! tanggap na tanggap mong napagkamalan tayong taga UK? mukha ba tayong british?!"
chad: "d naman tayo taga UK, so sabi ko we're from the Philippines"
me/guds: "eh may University of Kentucky kaya?!"
chad: "ah... oo nga pala!"

i'd like to think that despite our initial blunder, ms.hooters found us quite amusing that she came back a couple of times more to check up on us. after we paid our bill, she even asked 2 more hooters babes to have our pictures taken with them! we left full, and our hunger for excitement and variety satisfied. ah, what a night :D

btw, my blogs title is not original - it's hooters' catch phrase :D